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If You Want to Change the Way You Feel, You Must Start with the Way You Think

Change requires new thinking. In order to change, we must learn the truth and start making good choices, but we also must change the way we think.

The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. If you want to change the way you act, you start by changing the way you think. In addition, if you want to change the way you feel, you must start with the way you think.

For instance, you can say, “I need to love my husband more,” but that isn't going to work. You can't fight your way into a feeling. You must change the way you think about your husband, about your kids, about your wife. That will change the way you feel, which will then change the way you act. The Bible says, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes” (Ephesians 4:23 NLT, second edition).

The battle to deal with those defects in your life that you don't like, starts in your mind. If you want to change anything in your behavior or anything in your emotions, you start with your thoughts and your attitude.

The renewal of your mind is related to the word "repentance." I know repentance is a dirty word for a lot of people. They think it means something bad, something they don't really want to do, something painful. They think of a guy standing on a street corner with a sign that says, “Repent! The world's about to end!"

Repentance has nothing to do with your behavior. It is about changing your mind and learning to think differently. “Repent” simply means to make a mental U-turn.

You turn from guilt to forgiveness. You turn from frustration to freedom, from darkness to light, from hatred and bitterness to love.

You may also need to change the way you think about God. He's not mad at you; he’s mad about you! You’re deeply flawed, but you’re deeply loved.

Start with your mind, and change the way you think about your relationships, the economy, the world, and your past, present, and future. Changing the way you think will then affect your emotions and your behaviour.

By Rick Warren

Welcome to my Counselling & Life Coaching Practice

Welcome to Schurmann Counselling and Life Coaching. Schedule your appointment online now or call for help.

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ADHD Resources

Information on attention deficit disorder symptoms that affect your organization, focus, time management, career and work success, dating, sex, relationships, friendships, and marriage.

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There's Nothing Else Like Building Your Own Private Practice Website!

Everything is included. All the tools. All in one place. All for one low price.

SBI! is the Process, the Tools, the Guidance & Support that power your ideas. For real. Unlike others who show you how to build a site, but then leave you waiting for traffic that never comes, they teach you and stick with you for the entire process of creating a professional website. SBI provides the education, process and effective, easy-to-use tools; in easy-to-follow steps to help ensure your success from start to finish.

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3 Massive Mistakes People Make That Keep Them From Healing Their Emotional Wounds

Most people think they know all the facts when it comes to the topic of emotional wound care – “if someone hurts or bruises my emotions, I’ll just cover them up and I’m ready to go!” Unfortunately, it is not as simple as that. An emotional wound needs the same special treatment as a physical injury, in order to heal most efficiently and minimize the appearance of scars.

So before you cover up the hurt or injury, you need to know the difference between the facts and the misconceptions on emotional wound care.

Mistake #1: An emotional wound heals best when left alone. Time will do the trick.

Fact: Leaving an emotional wound alone actually slows down the healing process and can lead to further emotional infection and distasteful scars. Increased emotional discomfort and pain often produce symptoms such as anger, stress, fatigue, sadness, irritability, moodiness, resentment, bitterness, loneliness, jealousy and insecurity, just to mention a few.

Untreated emotional wounds can cause physical, mental, emotional and spiritual problems. They can set off mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety and addiction. These wounds can wipe out relationships, lead to job failures, obscure life’s purpose or direction, and ultimately destroy life.

Mistake #2: “Getting even” with the other person is the best way to deal with any emotional injury.

Fact: Getting even with the person who caused the injury may, for a while, release a degree of emotional pain. But in the long run, this action will further inflame your wound. A negative reaction or strategy will create further self-injury. This will only further inflict your wound and make matters worse.

Mistake #3: It is best to let an emotional wound “air out”.

Fact: “Talking out” or “journaling” is the first step in handling an emotional wound. This technique used by itself, without full treatment is, however, as harmful as leaving it alone. Always talking about your pain will not heal the wound. Although you may experience a momentary degree of release, your wound will worsen over time.

The object of proper emotional wound care is to minimize the possibility of infection such as bitterness, resentment, revenge, hatred, hopelessness, rage, depression, fear, addiction, violence, abuse, etc. Emotional infections cause the greatest obstructions to healing.

It is imperative that an emotional wound receives the same treatment as a physical injury, in order to heal most efficiently and minimize the appearance of scars.

Check out my NEW workbook: "Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit" where I teach people the second and final step in treating emotional wounds.

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10 Rules for Emotional Health

10 Rules for Emotional Health - Take time to relax, exercise, eat well, spend time with people you enjoy and activities which you find pleasurable. Healthy Emotions = Healthy Life.

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Finally, a FIRST AID KIT for emotional Health and Wellness.

Because the FIRST AID KIT FOR EMOTIONS has been nonexistent most people don't know how to nurse their emotional wounds. Wounds that don't heal can contaminate every aspect of your life. Open wounds affect how you view the world, how you relate to others and how you conduct your life in general.

In Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit, John Schurmann offers specific step-by-step treatments that are fast, simple, and effective. He defines the causes of emotional wounds, and what you can do to repair, heal and maintain optimal health. Using real-life examples of transformed lives and drawing on 30 years of professional experience, Schurmann explains how to:

Assess the seriousness of an emotional injury,

Care for your emotional sores and support the healing,

Let go of the injustice, emotional injury or pain,

Forgive the person or event,

Restore damaged relationships and life dreams,

Protect and strengthen your emotions,

Become your best friend, to love, trust and forgive yourself,

Deepen and enrich your relationships and feel closer to your loved ones,

Believe in yourself and become a positive person,

….and live your life like you always wanted!

Furthermore, the kit provides the central self-care skills to help you develop a healthy, vibrant and resilient mind, heart and spirit. Moreover, it can be used to develop your own self-help program or as an adjunct to therapy.


Book Your Appointment Online

Schedule your counselling appointment online, and make your payment. It's Quick and Easy.

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Marriage is not about finding the right person, but becoming the right person.

The key to a happy marriage and a happy relationship. It is not trying to control another person or force them to do what you want them to do; it is simply making yourself do what you should do in...

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Making It Fair Sharing Household Tasks

How To Share Relationship Roles Equally - Making It Fair: Who Will Do What and Why?

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How to Reignite Intimacy in a Sexless Marriage

How to Reignite Intimacy in a Sexless Marriage. THE LACK OF AN ONGOING, MUTUALLY SATISFYING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP HAS SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. It creates distance, friction, opening the window to divorce.

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HELPING YOUR PARTNER DEFUSE YOU. When you want to let off steam, it can be frustrating if you are open and your partner is closed. Some people have a hard time listening because they fear


Getting Your Teen Help for Video Game Addiction

Gaming addiction can have serious physical, emotional, and social consequences. Getting your teen help for video game addiction is the first action to take. This article is full of helps for you and

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Dissolving sexual differiences. One of the most common differences in relationships is over sex. The more demanding one person becomes, the less the other wants to give. Often, if the sexually


Benefits of Talk Therapy

Most people are still unaware of the benefits of talk therapy. Talk therapy provides the opportunity for clients to learn the right skills to empty their emotional trash and to keep the emotional . .

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Counselling Life-Coaching For Your Well-Being Needs

My counselling and life coaching services, including: ADHD, depression, anger, stress, anxiety, abuse, fear, violence, self-esteem, addiction, sexuality, spirituality, internet addiction.

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Prepare/Enrich your relationship

PREPARE/ENRICH is one of the best, most effective, easy-to-use relationship assessment tools available.

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Counselling Life-Coaching Qualification and Experience

John Schurmann qualification and experience is superb. I am a registered clinical social worker, individual, marriage and family psychotherapist, life coach, writer, speaker, radio co-host . . .

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Stay Good With Anger

Anger is a good emotion when it gets us moving, but if we let it take root, we set ourselves up for a great deal of potential harm. Find the best tools to get good with anger.

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Nursing Your Depression

The quickest way to lift your depression is to remove the amount of negative energizing activities in your life and fill your life with positive energizer activities.

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The Social Worker in Private Practice

Social workers provide the majority of counselling and psychotherapy services in Ontario. Find out more . . .

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Invest in your emotional health and wellness

Invest in your emotional, mental and spiritual health and wellness. Over 90% of people who have completed counselling and life coaching report to enjoy a healthier self. It does not mean that you are

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Emotional Healing Self-Help Community

Emotional Healing Self-Help Community

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How Counselling and Life Coaching Works

I pride myself in providing you with the highest quality assessment and counselling and life coaching services geared to your convenience and comfort level.

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Counselling Life Coaching for Your Career Needs

Counselling Life Coaching for Your Career Needs. Have no idea what career path to take? Taking a career test can help! Give yourself every advantage, and make the best decisions possible.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Simplified

Anyone can learn the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). A step by step worksheet to help you change your thinking and feel good.

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ADD or ADHD Counselling, Treatment, ADHD Specialist in Markham

We offer ADHD counselling which help you to become an expert of your ADD/ADHD. We have helped 1000s to identify, develop, manage, and celebrate their ADD/ADHD.

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Twenty Reasons to Have Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It

Twenty Reasons to Have Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It. Sex has many advantages to both people involved: helps you forget, rewires you for pleasure, pain relief, forever young . . .

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What is ADHD

ADHD is now recognized as being a lifelong disorder that is most commonly identified in school aged children but that carries on throughout adolescence and into adulthood for many people.

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4 Keys to Being Happy

Want to be happy? Find 4 life keys to create your ultimate happiness.

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Spiritual Self-Control

Self-control is restraint practiced over one's own emotions, impulses, or desires. Learn spiritual tips to help you practice the self-control skills.

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7 Spiritual Health Killers

A checklist of 7 spiritual health killer. Is your spiritual life flat? See what's making it flat. 7 tools to keep your spiritual life inspiring.

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The quest for forgiveness...

To whoever is reading this: I don't want to mention my name or who I am. But what I do want to say is, I have never seen anything that is more effective

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Top 100 Life Coach blogs

Check out the infographic on ”Top 100 Life Coach blogs”

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Your Nutritional Health

Struggling with Low Energy? The world's first Herbal Energy Drink that delivers! Zero artificial caffeine, stimulants, or by-products. A blend of herbs, vitamins, minerals, and amino acids.

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Learn valuable skills and improve your quality of life

Are you stressed and barely coping from day to day? Learn valuable skills and improve your quality of life with Schurmann Counselling and Life Coaching.

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I joint partnership with Dalton Associates

Psychologist Services are now provided in partnership with Dalton Associates.

To utilize Psychologist coverage under your employee health insurance plan, please call Dalton Associates to register with Mr. John Schurmann (1-888-245-5516).

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Social Worker fees can now be claimed as a medical expense on your income tax return

Social Workers got approved for the medical expense tax credit. This means that Social Workers are now listed in the CRA chart of “Medical Practitioner” and fees for counselling services can now be deducted by the public on income tax returns.


Mr. Schurmann and other adult ADHD sufferers are fighting two misconceptions: ADHD is not a “real” illness and it’s only diagnosed in children.

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Love Will Automatically Erase Past Hurt

Learn how LOVE will automatically ERASE past HURT.

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Relationship Online Book Store

Relationship & Marriage Online Book Store

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Stop Procrastinating! ADHD Time Management Strategies

5 simple ADHD time management tips and strategies to procrastinate less at home and on the job.

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Emotional Healing - Learning Again to Love and to Trust

Emotional healing is about embracing hope and recognizing that there are solutions to our intolerable pain. Emotional healing means seeking the means to move forward, to discover the inner happiness we deserve.

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I'm starting to heal, but my spouse is not helping herself get better, She is pulling me down. What do I do to keep my healing going?

I have been doing extremely well in balancing my self on a daily basis following the revised wheel. I am feeling much better and more in control of my

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Boundaries Not Walls

The purpose of setting healthy boundaries is to develop a good sense of self along with a strong sense of safety and security, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Learning to respect

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How to Make Everything Work to Your Advantage

Tips to help you choose to see that everything works to your advantage. Learn to ask: "What am I supposed to take away from this situation?"

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The 1st Herbal Energy Drink

All Natural ingredients: zero artificial caffeine, stimulants, or by-products.

The result? The purest form of rapid energy - delivered in minutes - that lasts for hours.

If you're seeking a convenient all natural method to enhance energy, performance, vitality, and mental clarity - bHIP Energy is your answer. Truly A New Breed of Energy.

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5 Easy Ways To Make Your Job Better and More Secure

5 Easy Ways To Make Your Job Better and More Secure. These tips come from the brain of a manager who might just be a lot like your boss.

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